Taking It Personally... The Good & The Bad News

I personalize things allot. In fact, I know that I am super sensitive.... Maybe even over sensitive. I've been mourning tragic events & reminders all weekend long.

The Hudson Family Tragedy

One Child Tires To Save Younger Child, Both Perish

Obama & African American Death Plot

Fake McCain Support Attack - Reminiscence or Susan Smith

The Opening Of 'Soul Men' This Week - Reminiscence of Bernie & Isaac

Deadly Newark Shooting Spree

But I do realize for every mournful or negative story I reminisce on, there are far Better stories to think of as well...

Earthly Angel Buys back Home & Returns To Owner

Better HIV/AIDS Treatment

Breast Cancer Survivor Talks About A second Chance @ Life

70 Year Old Disabled Man Saved From Fire

Soft Toy Campaign Raised Millions For Children Around The World

600+ Adults Arrested & 47 Children Rescued in Child Prostitution Ring Bust

New Drug May Strengthen Women's Bones

Women Rise To Power in Recovering Rwanda

Goodwill Program Helps Young Fathers

How To Get Holiday Jobs

Volunteer Group Help With Flood Repairs

Governor Offer Lift To Elderly Man & Daughter Whose Car Broke Down

It's a shame that I had to work so hard to find these feel good/good news stories in the mainstream media.. But then again, it lifted my mood from the constant doom & gloom of the so-called 'news'.

I am committing one day every week to finding & listed Good News Reports... NO, I don't expect you to read them all in one sitting.. but come back to sneak a peek..... You just might be presently surprised.... I was!

Great Is Your Mercy! Donnie McClurkin

My Heart Goes Out to Jennifer Hudson and Her Family...UPDATED

May God comfort you during this very disturbing time of trouble. Please know you are all in the thoughts and prayers of many, many folks...

Please keep her nephew Julian King in prayer. As of this post he is missing.

God bless you girl!

10/27/08 - Unfortunately, It's been reported that little Julian King was found lifeless. May the Lord Our God, take them & keep them with Him.. until the day we all are called home. I pray a special covering over all who are mourning this & other recent horrific events. "No Weapon..."

In times like these, I am thankful to call on the the Lord.. as done by the auspicious words of these true Prophets of God:

No Weapon - Fred Hammond



I Need You Now! Smokey Norful



Never Would Have Made It - Marvin Sapp

My Suspicious Nature: Part 2 Hurt Feelings

Many times I personalize things: Jewelry, crafts, my art work... (tongue in cheek).

Seriously, I can easily personalize remarks and sentiments from others. I have to constantly remind myself that another person's reaction is usually a byproduct of their experiences. The tone and nature of their reaction is often because of who (or is it whom?) I remind them of from their past. However, sometimes that's a hard pill to swallow in the midst of a heated debate. Being that as it may, I have been hurt when faced with what I deemed as rejection or dismissal of my sincere views.

My reaction to the perceived disregard can be willful indignation... if it's the mood I'm experiencing at that particular point in time.... aka.. 'Am I ragging?' Or did I NOT pay attention to H.A.L.T. Otherwise, I can cheerfully, but mean-spiritedly return the diss. .. And that gets us both nowhere.

So now I am trying to take another path:
~ Do not take personal ownership of the other person's reaction. It's theirs. I have enough of my own stuff (sugar.honey.iced.tea.)
~ Feel the feeling.
~ Carefully articulate how I feel to the other person.
~ Continue the conversation if we both choose to elaborate.
~ Be OK if the final result is to agree to disagree.

However, I must admit.. this only works if I truly care. Quite frankly some folk severely irritate me, but they are neither worth my time nor my breathe to figure out. In that case I say my piece & move on...

How do you deal with the hurt?

Here's a Little Challenge to Start Off The Week

You know, there is nothing more special than an unexpected expression or love & kindness. Just tonight while making dinner, my oldest came from behind and gave me a great big hug. It was welcome surprise as he is sometimes in his own pre-teen world ~ thinking, daydreaming, playing, creating, wondering etc... which I assume, usually doesn't include thoughts of mom & dad. For that moment nothing else matter, It just felt good. Then he went off to his pre-teen preoccupations. LOL

This gave me a thought for a challenge. I challenge you all to make a special effort to unexpectedly bless someone else. Completely catch someone off guard. It can be of any nature - here are a few suggestions:

- You can make something: small gift, meal, make the bed...

- You can do something: pay the toll for the car behind you, buy some groceries for a neighbor, pick up a restaurant tab…

- You can write something: A note, poem, an apology...

Whatever, you decide to do is fine as long as it is from the heart. If the unsuspecting person offers to repay your kindness, simply state: "Pay it forward - do something nice for someone else"

Please report back and let us know how, it made you feel.

Why Do We Have Suspicious Natures? Part 1 Relationships

Where do you start people on the likability marker? -10 (lowest) 0 (neutral) 10 (highest)

I must admit as a child I was very suspicious of most. I always said "I start folks out as a -10... You have to prove yourself trustworthy." As I got older I completely flipped the script & placed folks on the positive side; sometimes even as high as 10! Being suspicious all the time was getting to be exhausting and I wanted to have some fun! If I met someone who I thought could be a new bff or a potential love interest and we instantly connect, then it's golden! Well after doing that a couple of times, it is needless to say I was consistently disappointed.

Now for the most part I start folk out as a 0... Zero is neutral! You are neither good nor bad until we have some sort of meaningful communication.

Lately, I have been aware of several factors that I did not notice before. These are important because if they are out of balance, then so is my perception.

If I am feeling mental anguish, physically ill, fatigue, annoyed etc.. I don't respond well to folk. I know, I know.. it doesn't take a genius to figure this out, but many times we don't assess this until after the damage has been done. By the time we realize that something is wrong, it's much too late; we have already hurt an important relationship.

A good acquaintance of mine once said his wife told him to remember H.A.L.T. - Are you: Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Once we have paid attention to those things, our thoughts are a bit more clear.

Another reason we are suspicious in relationship... is the fact that we can't be trusted ourselves. Ever heard the saying: "It takes one to know one"? Well it's true.. many times we suspect actions from others that we have already engaged in or are seriously considering ourselves. Hey! If the shoe fits ~ then get the bag to match!


Sometimes our suspicions are a complete afterthought. Many times we already know the significant one is being untruthful but we dismiss the tell-tell signs. Then all of a sudden we are suspicious. WTF?! What do you want them to do? Draw a picture?!

In any case this is not an exhausted list.. just a few things I have been pondering....

What can you add to the pot?

Potpourri Friday! Gripe~Delusional Characters

I've gots lots on my mind... Lot's of gripes like Joe doesn't know Jack! He thought he was help out McCan't or rather McAin't, but he ended up looking like a fool. What does McAin't delusional supporters do? They blame Obama... Absolutely Unbelievable! Blame it on Obama... Wasn't it McCan't who called that man out?!


How many folk out there are voting based on faking it until they make it... Guess what? It doesn't work! Be who you are and aspire to do more. Why would you support the candidate for the rich when you are no where near it? You have 4 cars.. 3 have for sale signs on them but you are a McAin't supporter... Delusional please! Why despise intellect?! Isn't the goal for our kids to do better than us? Obama is the hope & the dream of so many of our ancestors.... That hope crossed many races! It's not just a black or white dream! If you reduce it to that.. then you my dear are a little thinker.

Now, I am not saying you can't disagree with Obama. If you are a CEO of a large corporation with deep pockets & politicians in your back pocket.. then by all means... Vote for the McAin't / Palin ticket.. but something tells me those couple of Mavericks will turn on you soon too!

Cue the music: Electric Relaxation ~ Tribe Called Quest

Frustration

If a picture is worth a thousand words. Then two must be worth a million.














Cue the music... good night.

'Why' I Started This Blog...

I am not a fan of exposing my true self to the unknown. For what it's worth - I like to keep my private life... well - uh private!... underneath a cloak of mystery. LOL Seriously, it's much more exciting to create the fanciful life. The one I dream about to cover the humdrum tedium of my true everyday life. Plus, I am so many things to so many people - I never find time for myself. Portrait Samuel R. Byrd "My Solitude" ==>

So, sometimes I just want to be... Even if it's just for a few seconds of every hour.. or a few minutes of everyday.

What do I want to be you ask? Whatever my mind can conceive (within reason) or maybe not... That's the beauty of the imagination! It doesn't have to be within reason... Of course we need to know where to draw the line. After all we are adults and we all have real responsibilities. However, in order to get through the day.. sometimes all it take is a fleeting thought that brings a smile to our face.

Remember that past love?
Enjoyed that scrumptious meal?
Seen that amazing play?
Humming to your favorite tune?
Saying what you believe and not fearing?
Danced like no one was watching? And if so, who cares?

Sometimes I want to play freeze tag with my grown up adult friends! I want to have a pamper slumber party with the girls, that is raided by the guys (note to self: our guys... husbands, significant others etc). I want to skip down the pathway with a basket of flowers. If it wasn't for vertigo & Canadian Geese, I would roll down the hill in the park.

Well these times come too far & too few in between. However in order to keep our..., to keep my sanity, I need to make time to do them. Even if it's once in a blue moon. I believe that blue moon experience will carry me into the next it should arise again.

So meanwhile if you are too uptight, not ready to take that carefree plunge, every once in a while stop by here. Scroll down to start music playing, grab that cup o' joe (or whatever) relax & read.

Be Creative.
Groove Soulfully.
Feel Sexy!

More importantly, enjoy it as the moments are fleeting.

And Tonight's Topic... Girl Crush!

That's right... Girl Crush! To get a true understanding of this entry, I need you to understand what I mean by girl crush. An article in the NY Times Style & Fashion 'She's So Cool, So Smart, So Beautiful: Must be A Girl Crush' Published August 11, 2005 by Stephanie Rosenbloom explains it as:

"a phrase that many women in their 20's and 30's use in conversation, post on blogs and read in magazines. It refers to that fervent infatuation that one heterosexual woman develops for another woman who may seem impossibly sophisticated, gifted, beautiful or accomplished. And while a girl crush is, by its informal definition, not sexual in nature, the feelings that it triggers - excitement, nervousness, a sense of novelty - are very much like those that accompany a new romance."

I can only remember having a girl crush once before. It was on a girlfriend who I modeled with in the early 90's. She was kooky, fun and cool. We hung out in the tri-state area between shows... being silly & just having honest-to-goodness fun (please don't go there.. because we didn't). It is true that these things are fleeting because now I haven't a clue to where she is or what she's doing now... nor she, I.

Fastford a few years, my newest girl crush has lasted for quite a while... maybe a few years even. Perhaps this one has lasted so long because she is consistently evolving. My girl crush has a very public life, but always appears strong & stable. Plus she is cute to boot~I just love her! I joke with my dh (dear husband) if somehow we were to meet; and she showed the least bit of interest in moi; I'd have to give it some thought. LOL seriously, like that will ever happen... hahahhaa! It's all in fun & jest I assure him... but "hmmm..." LOL

Angelina Jolie

Funny thing is, in my travels, I find many guys who agree: single, married, black, white... it doesn't matter... However, women look puzzled. I haven't figured it out yet.. but I think my girlfriends silent thoughts are a combination of "...and she said that out loud" and "I could never say that" and perhaps a little "Hmmm never thought of it.... hmmm" LOL

In any case, there it is... out in the open. Angelina Jolie is beautiful, A Mom, A Humanitarian & A great Actor with kick-ass roles! ...And I have a girl crush on her!




Question for the ladies...
Have you ever had a girl~crush? If so, Who?

Conversely, my husband said.. "I don't think I ever had a "boy-crush on anybody..." I quickly replied.. "And I don't ever expect you to!" Yes, some double standards will never change! ;)

Girl Crush or Great New Music???

So today's topic was a toss between a girl crush or new music. Well, I decided to go with the music! LOL I will do girl crush tomorrow if something else doesn't pop up! Ha-ha...

This is not to be a dissapointer... I was building my music for this blog.. (Actually I built this blog as a place to house this kick-ass musical geniuses playlist!) I have Sherry to thank for this.. LOL Her incredible music selection on her GotArt blog was my inspiration to build my musical dream team of artists.

Anywho, I came across Rafael Saadiq's new album The Way I See It, which incorporates old style music with new lyrics. You may remember Raphael from the popular man band Tony! Toni! Toné! Oh yeah, with soft sultry hits like Whaterver You Want or the amazing ballet It Never Rains in Southern California, OH I have some stories about those.. but ahhh.. that's for another time.

Getting back to Raphael, he has had a moderately successful music career from collaboration to collaboration.. solo to solo... This album is something new to add to his ever growing list of masterpieces. My husband, who is a Mr Saadiq fan was not impressed with this newest album... It was DH's (dear hubby's) criticism which lead me to hear it even more. Don't get me wrong Mr. Sexy (dh) is a great judge of music, but his strong opinions sometimes leads me to dissension... LOL That's normal for couples! Right?!

When I heard Sure Hope You Mean It, Love That Girl, & 100 Yard Dash - I totally feel in love with the album. It's a very sensual album. Are you surprise? After all, that's Rafael's m.o. This new album boasts a bit of old school respectability & new cool swagger. I actually felt that way about another artist who had done the same thing.... Her songs, although laced with deliciously shameful rhetoric, was my guilty pleasure... But alas, she has spiraled down so far, that I cannot & will not condone her actions. This nameless vixen will remain unspoken, her songs unsung in my book. 'No, no, no' I won't do it. Get some help girl!

Anywho, you can hear a few of the songs on Rafael Saadiq's new album, The Way I See It, on my blog playlist. Just page down to the bottom or better yet... got out and buy the album! If you like new school candor with old school charm... you will love this album just like I do!

ETA (Edited to add) : I must mention that I 1st heard this album on The Michael Baisden Radio Show about a week ago. Much props to Mr Baisden for championing lesser known or under appreciated B-Side Artists! Way to go Michael.

So I Finally Watched the Sex & The City Movie...

I am such the happy-go-late comer. I don't understand why most folks call me fashion forward. If the truth be told, I am no innovator. Oh I can hook up an outfit, a Christmas tree.. and even left overs. I just don't have to be the 1st one to do so...

When my husband asked if I wanted to watch the movie on Direct TV, I had to chuckle. "Isn't it a chick-flick?" I thought. Well I have to say that I loved the movie.. it was sort of like watching a book on tv (instead of tape). By that I mean, it was long, with toss & turns, ins & outs.. but I enjoyed the trip.

It was nice to see Jennifer Hudson in the movie. Correct me if I am wrong, I thought I read somewhere that when she struck fame.. her part was written into the movie. She actually comes in where Big leaves.. and then vice versa at the end. So I can see how that 'could' have been done. Anywho, she did well. I am truly happy for her success. It's the perfect example of opportunity meeting preparation! Yeah, right place & right time.. but she sincerely has the talent to boot!

I am SO glad that I didn't watch it in the movies as it was much too long to be couped up with strangers. Some of the scenes were so... well...out there, that I wouldn't have been comfortable watching out of the privacy of my own home. I mean there was SO much SEX in the movie.. I joked that it was soft porn. I mean there was sex everywhere. Well besides the married couples, it was mainly between the the neighbor and all of his..... hmmmm... women. (No I will not demean his very friendly female visitors). Geesh, that nearly full frontal of Samantha's neighbor, made me blush. I'm black - we don't blush! LOL

Anywho, don't get me wrong... There is no one in this movie who 'did it' for me.. I thankfully have my husband for that! I was just shocked at the openness of the movie. Everybody used the F word like it was going out of style. I must admit with 3 kiddos, I rarely watch anything higher than a PG-13 rating. But I guess this is were the grown-ups hang.

Then too.. I never saw Sex in the City on HBO. I've only seen it on TBS & the WB. I am sure I always got a really watered down version of it... SURPRISE - Welcome to reality... so it seems! Hmmmm... perhaps I should read the book & get the tv series uncut box set. I am sure there is lots more to see! LOL

Intro...

Slower type of Fast
Classy type of Sass
Older kind of New
SOUL

Conservatively Free
What about us??
What about me?!
Just let me be...

Calculatingly Spontaneity
Dramatically Realistic
Ornately Simplistic
A Gorgeous Mess.
'Just let me be' byABPryor, 2008










Welcome to the Creatively Soulful & Sexy blog. Grab a drink that warms you (I prefer hot chocolate with a splash of coffee), turn on your sounds... enjoy the music, relax & read...

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Daily!

ABP